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A pretty big one.’ ‘You need a ham?’ ‘Yep. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s Christmas Eve.’ ‘Yes, I’m aware of that, Mr. S. And bei...g as how it’s Christmas Eve—9:00 o’clock Christmas Eve now—I’m afraid we aren’t going to find a grocery store open.’ ‘How do ya know that?’ Mr. Strang was giving Joyce a highly suspicious look. ‘Maybe you just don’t want to make the effort to help me find a Christmas ham.’ As well as being a slight hypochondriac, Mr. Strang was not particularly trusting or. "You do?" They both replied at the same time."Mary..." Jack quickly interjected so their responses wouldn't again beintersected. "I have a feeling that we're not in Kansas anymore." But we've never even been..." I know, I know." Jack interrupted, making Mary pout. "But do you getthe feeling that, well... I don't know... That we're not exactlyourselves?"A little lemming walked into Jack's left foot and kept walking into it."Now that you mention it..." Mary voiced with a tone that suggested ahint. "I swear I had to hold onto the door handle to keep from falling down. His looked as if he were a circus hippopotamus dressed up for a parade. Otis, the Mayberry town drunk, couldn't have hallucinated anything weirder. And the pirouette was killer as he stood on his tiptoes and spun around. I went into the bathroom to wash and brush then dived into bed in my boxer briefs. I politely declined Creole's offer to see if his mom could find a pair of the pajamas for me.I stayed awake a few minutes. "You will be damn glad you have it and know how to use it when all is said and done, Jean. Some of the people you're going to deal with are not very nice."I was shocked. "You mean to tell me these people—whoever they are—might shoot at me for doing my job?" Yes, that's exactly what I mean, and I want you to be able to shoot back. With intent to do grievous bodily harm at the very minimum." Jesus H. Christ on a teacart!" I said. "You're serious, aren't you?" You bet your sweet ass I am," she.
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